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Recipe: Beer Battered Dinoshark Steaks

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While the humans were busy CHOMPing on rainbow colored rabbit eggs, chocolate droppings and singed ham hocks, Sharktopus slaved away in the kitchen, concocting a Dinoshark recipe to entice your olfactory senses and delight even the most refined palate. No doubt the hybrid beast was fuming that Dinoshark’s DVD was released on April 26th, just one month after his own DVD debut. Wearing a chef’s hat and a specially designed smock with eight arm holes, the terrifying monster from the deep waxed eloquently about his culinary endeavors, “Dinoshark is a rare and potent meat that can be chewy and tasteless if prepared incorrectly. It’s hard to find fresh Dinoshark meat–most of it’s been frozen for a millennia. Don’t try to cook something elegant with this barbaric creature, it’s best when deep-fried and served with cole-slaw”

How to Prepare Beer Battered Dinoshark Steaks


Catching one of these slithery creatures is the most challenging task. You’ll want to avoid the head entirely, even after it’s been lopped off because it’s primal instincts are to continue snapping until the end of time. The head is best dealt with by burrying, placing on a stake to keep the crows out of your garden, or roasting and using as a centerpiece for your not-so-elegant beer battered Dinoshark dinner.

Remove the skin before preparation. The Dinoshark secretes a scent, not unlike a rotting corpse, through its scaly skin.

Now, slice the meat into 2-inch steaks, rinse them in cold water and pat dry.


1 cup flour

1 tablespoon cajun spice

2 eggs (or 1 Dinoshark egg, if you dare…)

1 cup stout beer

salt and pepper to taste

Combine the dry ingredients. Beat the eggs with the beer then mix into the dry ingredients.

Place the Dinoshark steaks into the beer batter and let sit for half an hour.

Deep Fry

Heat the oil in your deep fryer. Fry your Dinoshark until it’s reaches the golden  color of the sun. Enjoy this recipe with your family’s secret cole-slaw recipe, and toast to the one and only… TeamSharktopus!



Written by sosnowy

April 25, 2011 at 8:18 AM

Posted in Uncategorized

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