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Posts Tagged ‘Television

Sharktopus Takes Syfy to Court, CHOMPS the Judge

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Sharktopus Angered at Judge's Ruling

Friday, September 24th, Sharktopus took the Syfy Channel to court on allegations of misrepresentation. Sharktopus and Syfy’s relationship has been rockier than a sand-free beach. Sharktopus’ anger began to manifest itself after he saw the first trailer for the movie and realized he was being portrayed like a monster instead of the peace loving environmentalist he claims to be.

Sharktopus put together several pieces of evidence to prove that Syfy neglected Sharktopus’ rights as a mutant creature. First he claimed that Syfy did not show for his honorary picnic. Second they ignored his protest and demand for mutant rights earlier this month, not even deigning to comment on his complaints. Third he produced video of footage that he says Syfy and Roger Corman conspired to edit incorrectly and show Sharktopus in an unfair and untruthful light. Sharktopus tells us that “the film uses footage of me rescuing people and doing good, then it portrays me as a monster on a rampant killing spree, but this just isn’t true. You can see in my version of the film that I was merely CHOMPing the people who were clearly participating in the conspiracy against me.”

Here is Sharktopus’ video of his version:

Once Sharktopus was sitting at the plaintiff’s table, he appeared particularly angry that Syfy sent a lawyer and an unpaid intern to represent their defense case. The intern did not even take the stand for Sharktopus to cross examine her. He spit with anger, “I would have sucker-slapped her if she sat up there and spoke against me. What does an intern know? It’s the ultimate insult.”

Not only did the Honorable Judge Don Prudence refuse to allow cross examination of the defendant, but he refused to consider Sharktopus’ evidence as well, “You are an abomination, and you do not qualify under the equal protection clause because you are not a person. Therefore I will dismiss your suit and allow Syfy to air Sharktopus the Movie on Saturday September 25th 9/8 central time as scheduled.” He slammed his gavel several times when Sharktopus’ tentacles began twitching, “I will have order in this court! Restrain your tencleeeeeagh!” These were the last words Judge Don Prudence uttered before Sharktopus introduced him to the tentacle named Obliviator.

For fans who want to watch Julie and Roger Corman’s film, Sharktopus, here are a few games for your Sharktopus ViewingParty.

Written by sosnowy

September 24, 2010 at 10:29 AM

Sharktopus Angered at Syfy’s No-Show to Honorary Picnic

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Sharktopus reportedly invited Syfy to a picnic Thursday evening, but found himself stranded on the beach. In an exclusive interview, Sharktopus stated, “I’m a movie star, not a whale, and they can’t just ignore me. I know what’s really going on.”

The movie Sharktopus is scheduled to air on September 25th, and he’s been trying to get his tentacles on a copy before it hits TV. “There’s something fishy about this,” he stated about Syfy’s unwillingness to let Sharktopus see footage of the completed film.

Sharktopus says he was shocked when the trailer was released. He was under the impression that Syfy was filming a documentary from his perspective and felt the trailer portrayed him as a monster. “I like to eat people,” said the actor as his tentacles began to twitch, “what’s wrong with that?”

The interview ended abruptly when Sharktopus ate the camera intern.

Written by sosnowy

September 3, 2010 at 9:14 AM